Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Send help, water and tortillas.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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