areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
