no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize