Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
