So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
