1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
