Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
