Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Damn victory sex feels great
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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