Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
