Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
