I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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