Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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