i permit you to call me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
