I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
