Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
