Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
i think my cat just said my name.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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