Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
