nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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