I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
