Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
