You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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