i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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