go do what you do best...puke behind churches
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
