i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
