Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize