i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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