I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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