I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
