And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
