Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
