literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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