I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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