she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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