well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
