We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
