so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you didnt know i had herpes?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
