You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
