Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
