You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
