i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
