found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
pray to the hookup gods
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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