That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
