tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
