who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
