He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
