we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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