all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
