forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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