Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
