My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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