connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
