somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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