He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
