She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
