I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
