Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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