Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
