it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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